My Last Breath
by BuwanKanta
Summary: what would you do...if your best friend...died? what would inuyasha do...if...kagome...died...? yah, this really sucks, and i know that. lol, sorry if i ruined the moment, if there was any.
1. page 1

**Author's Note**: Has anyone ever asked you, "What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow?" That was my sole inspiration, that and some other popular fanfic theme based on some depressing gothic idea(s).  Oh yeah, fallen wind told me a story that almost made me cry, something I don't do very often.  This is a way of expressing my sadness; yeah, I was kinda depressed when I wrote this, sorry!  This story coincides with a song titled _My Last Breath_ by Evanescence (hence the title of the story).  Hey, _every song has a story, every story has a song_.  This is the first story I've written of this type, so bear with me, please!  Oh, by the way, this is really important: do NOT skim through this story or else it will NOT seem good and it will NOT make sense, pay close attention to the flashback of the battle, and the song, _My Last Breath,_ is being told from MY (_the_ author's) perspective, NOT INUYASHA'S.  Enjoy if it is worth enjoying.

**Disclaimer**: Hmm? Oh, yup, yeah, right, that's me; neither "InuYasha" nor "My Last Breath" is mine.  Darn, they're both really good, too.  "InuYasha" belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, and "My Last Breath" is a song by Evanescence.  Can't blame a girl for dreaming, now can ya? ^_~

**My Last Breath**

hold on to me

you know I can't stay long

all I wanted to say was I love you and i'm not afraid

can you hear me?

can you feel me in your arms?

_This world, I can't bear to live in this damned world any more, not since everyone I've ever cared about died._

_So now, I'm just wandering on my own, like I used to be back when.  Where the hell was I supposed to go?!  No one wanted a stupid hanyou, not even a kid, neither ningen nor youkai. It was just me; it's _still _just me, on my own, all alone…_

_Instead, I trained to become stronger, stronger than stupid, useless emotions, stronger than stupid, useless mortals who spat on my back and yelled obnoxiously into my sensitive ears… not to mention play with my ears…_

I chuckled softly to myself, relieving the strange concentration of stiff tension that had accumulated about the silent wood. "But not strong enough!" I announced plainly, challenging the heavy quiescence. "Not strong enough."

With a steady humdrum pace, I trudged along the forest terrain, bumping carelessly into trees decrepit as I.  My mouth remained shut, shunning the constant pains and raw bruises.  Life was forsaken in this land of mourning.

_She taught me so much and was my only _real_ friend, though I despised her presence.  Others had tried, but none could comprehend the responsibilities of having a deadly companion.  I feel so stupid now…_

Continuing on my trek to some unknown destination, I laughed again, straining to mute the snickers.  No longer had I control over myself: loud and compelling, my maniacal laughter rang throughout the dead woods.  My feeble debilitated attempt to stir some life into anything at all failed insignificantly.  Life truly _was forsaken here._

_Why the hell do I care?  I never cared for this damned world before so why all of a sudden?  No, I don't care; I don't give a shit anymore.  In this world, hope was beyond renounced to me.  _She_ was my_ world, but now…__

My crazed laughter turned to bulging tears.  Although I held no equivocation when I released my insane cachinnation, I chose instead to protect whatever meager pride I had left, so I fought back my emotions.  Despite the fair day, sun shining and all, my face remains hidden under shadows of devastation and depression.

_Why did she leave me? I need her more than anything.  She was all that kept me comforted and sane; hell, she _was_ my sanity._

I stopped.  Silence once again dominated.  Somehow, I had stumbled upon the Goshinboku and the mysterious well that had the ability to manipulate the stream of time, connecting her era to my own.  Memories came flooding back to me, making me cringe under the ponderous weight of it all.

_Once, I lay against this god tree.  Limbs bound by vines, life bound by fate, I was sentenced here for my blinded deed.  I was helplessly locked in a cage, key thrown away. But the key came back; she was the key._

"K…Kagome…" I fought once again to drive back the tears.  _No I can't cry, not now.  _Falling upon my knees, I grasped wildly at the earth beneath me, trying to release my aching pains and frustrations that way.

_No, it's not working.  Nothing is working._  "Damn it!" I exclaimed.  Thoughts leaked through my impotent firewall.  "Nothing's working!"

"InuYasha," someone called with some degree of calmness and serenity.

_That's her voice. That's hers!_


	2. page 2

"Kagome!  Kagome, is that you?"  Life rushed back into my amber eyes, renewed with hope that I had thought lost forever.

My complexion was _almost _stained from grievance, but I didn't care anymore; I _almost_ wept for her.  After rising but halfway, I slumped against the bark of the god tree.  _It's impossible, it can't be her. _"Kagome's…" _No…can't be…she's…_

"Do you question my presence, InuYasha?  Do you want me to leave?" asked the tranquil articulations.

"No," I beseeched, "Kagome, please don't leave me!"

_Wait, this is wrong.  This stupid voice is just toying with me; it's just my imagination.  It can't be Kagome because she... Kagome's… Naraku… the bastard… h-he…_

The tragic battle replayed slowly in my mind with intricate detail, all of it: the struggle, the pain, the hostility, the bloodshed.  My head throbbed in agony as I watched through it all: through where Naraku had shattered my Tetsusaiga, through where Sango, Miroku, Shippou, and Kirara were cast carelessly aside wit the flick of Naraku's pliant wrist, through the part that I too was almost killed, but Kagome…

The fresh scent of pine draped around me would have usually passed as a lovely fragrance, but now everything smelled rotten, felt dead.  

I took the pouch that I had kept inside my red haorai and held it delicately with both hands, afraid that it would break at the first idiosyncratic gesture.  Its sharp, bulky content was cold against that of my rough battle-scarred claws.  Closing my eyes, I relived the final moments in which Kagome had done something I fiercely protested against deep within me… those final moments… her final moments…

holding my last breath

safe inside myself

are all my thoughts of you

sweet rapture light it ends tonight

_"InuYasha," Kagome breathed slowly, each syllable spoken with difficulty._

_"Kagome, damn it, what the hell do you think you were doing out there?!  Naraku could've made a direct hit, could've killed you!" I spoke harshly, lying on the beaten earth beside her._

_She ignored the acidity in my scolding.  "How's the healing?"_

_"The healing?   Pwf… don't worry yourself, Kagome…Sango, Miroku, Shippou, Kirara… they'll get over it, except for Naraku." I grinned.  "You did it, Kagome… Naraku, he's dead… condemned to hell once again, the bastard," I huffed._

_"What… about you… InuYasha?  How are your wounds healing?"_

_"M-my wounds?  Um, hehe… K-Kagome, you seriously don't look too good.  Let me see _your_ wounds."_

She's _my wound, I realized painfully.  She_ is… _she's_ causing me all this pain, all this damn suffering, but why?  _"What in all the hells are you doing to me, Kagome?"_


	3. page 3

_She turned her face away.  "InuYasha…no…"_

_"Oh, come on, Kagome.  I'm not asking you to take of your shirt or anything; I'm not lecherous like Miroku."  I heard her laugh quietly at my remark.  "Seriously though, let me see your wounds."_

_Kagome closed her eyes and responded softly, "InuYasha…I-I can't…I just can't let you see…"_

_Annoyed yet alarmed, I sat up straight and looked over at Kagome.  Blood and tears coalesced upon her once radiant, smiling face.  I cradled her head softly back and forth in my arms, careful not to drop a spill of blood from my broken nose.  "N-no, Kagome.  Stay awake; heh, don't fall asleep like you always do.  This is hardly the time."_

_"Why?  The battle's… over…"_

"The battle's not over; I'm still fighting…_still…"_  The passing winds caressed my white hair, overpowering my timid voice.

Pushing back into the bark of the god tree, I felt as if I was being struck by a hidden force that I could not escape.  My claws dug into the bark of the Goshinboku, tearing it slowly, yet making each movement strong and savage.  Sharp splinters of wood dropped slowly to the ground, some scratching my bare feet.  I felt no pain, only restlessness and anxiety.

_"So? Doesn't mean you have to let it all out right after!  There's no one to help us out here; we might as well all die before some stupid traveler comes and finds us. Come on, you've gone through worse than this before…"_

_"Heh, don't be stupid, no… I haven't …"_

_I cupped my hand about her soft chin, making her fatigued face level with my own._

_"InuYasha…?"  Her eyes widened slightly then softened equally to my own serene state._

_ We came closer and closer, close enough that if I had blown against her face, I would have felt it reflect back at me.  I hugged her tightly, never wanting to let go._

_"Wha…?"  A heavy stench of ningen blood hung about the dying miko.  Shocked and dismayed, I looked upon one of my hands that had supported her back.  It bore a vibrant red._

_"Heh, I guess," Kagome winched at the giant open wound, "Naraku…_did_ make a direct hit.  Oh… oh, well…you…you're okay…"_

_"Kagome!" I whimpered helplessly._

"Kagome!" My grip tightened spasmodically around the Shikon shards and at the god tree's bark.  I yelped at the suddenness of the pain biting into my raw flesh.  For some time, I merely stood against the Goshinboku, letting the blood spill from my puncture wounds on my hands, feeling nothing, excepting the shards and splinters biting deeply into my already scarred soul.

"Huh?" I snapped back into reality.  "What's…this?"  Moisture had gathered about my eyes and was dropping like rain.  "These…these are my tears…?"


	4. page 4

_Kagome floated in and out of consciousness, her very being on the fence between life and death.  "Tet…Tetsusuaiga," she whispered, "Where is it?"_

_"Huh?  That stupid piece of junk?  It's useless now; it shattered.  Don't waste your breath, Kagome."_

_"Nothing…is ever useless.  Besides… you'll need… that stupid… piece of junk, or pieces rather, later.  Bring it to me."_

_"But…" I could find no strength to retaliate against her.  Laying her slowly upon the battle-worn ground, I gathered the broken pieces of my katana, a once great sword that I had inherited from my father.  Now my heirloom was no more than a blade sparred into two._

_I hurried back to Kagome.  "Here," I indicated toward the remains.  After quickly setting them down, I returned to Kagome's side, leaning her body against mine again.  "You're a stubborn one, you wench," I chuckled.  "So… whatcha gonna do?"_

_She paid no attention to me.  Instead she chanted, concentrating immensely on the near impossible task she had set before herself.  For besides concentration, it also required a lot of strength, rejoining a magical sword, something she did not at the moment have.  But she did it, returning Tetsusaiga to its original state._

"I didn't even know she could do that.  Chanting and all that shit," I murmured. "I really hate to say it, Kagome, but Tetsusaiga's not helping anyone.  No one. Not now."  _Maybe never… that was a stupid waste of energy, Kagome… so foolish…_

_"Kagome!" I raged, "What the hell did you do that for?!  That took too much energy that you _don't_ have right now!  It could kill you, idiot!  Why can't you wait?!  You could die!  Do you want__ that, asshole?!  Do you?!"  My wounds began to throb severely as if trying to silence my anger._

_Her eyes swelled up with tears.  "I was not meant to live after this anyway.  It's… the least… I can do."  She took of her necklace.  "Here… take the shards… finish what we started… Leave me now, InuYasha; I am useless to this Sengoku Jidai."_

_"No," I put my finger to her mouth as to silence her, "nothing is ever useless, or no one.  I'll stay."_

_"But… but you have the Shikon shards.  Isn't that what you want?  Make up your mind, you silly hanyou," she chuckled.  Her laughter subsided as she began to cough up blood._

Hanyou…_ I repeated within the realms of my mind.  I did not flinch at the title or the word itself._

_"Kagome, stop it," I spoke suddenly, "you sound like you're letting it all out."_

_"Heh, InuYasha, one more thing."_

_"No…"_

_"I…I…"_

_"…K-Kagome?"_

_"…"_

_"Kagome?  KAGOME!"_

i'll miss the winter

a world of fragile things

look for me in the white forest

hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)

i know you hear me

i can taste it in your tears


	5. page 5

"Do you weep for me, dear InuYasha?"

"Sh-shuddup," I growled at the annoying voice.

"InuYasha…"

"Gods, you stupid voice, would ya just leave me ALONE?!"  _Why is this thing so persistent?!_

"…"

"Grr, you RUINED the moment!  WENCH!"

"But I did not speak."

"Did I say your _words_ ruined the moment? NO, I didn't!  _You ruined my _life_, Kagome!"_

"…So you admit it then?  I am your wench, Kagome."

I was shocked.  _N-No… it's not true, it can't be… What's wrong with me?   _

"Quiet, voice, and get a grip.  I call all girls 'wench'.  Leave me alone."

"But InuYasha," the voice continued. 

The bushes rustled; startled, I shifted towards a fighting stance, flexing my claws.  "Grr, SANKON TETSU…!"  I stopped.  

Before me stood the one person whom I wanted to see the most, yet the one person I knew could not be possible.

"K…Kagome?"

holding my last breath

safe inside myself

are all my thoughts of you

sweet raptured light it ends here tonight

"InuYasha."  Kagome's familiar radiant smile sent pulses of life throughout me.  My amber eyes shone brightly wit the setting sun, yet all seemed to shine wit Kagome around.

"Kagome…you're…alive?" I whispered.

"Hello, InuYasha."

"But, but you were… I saw… Naraku made a… a direct hit, and…" My head throbbed immensely, waging a battle of logic against emotion.

I stared hard at the girl before me and realized how much she looked like Kagome: raven black hair, calm serene smile… traditional miko outfit?  "Kagome, what happened to your weird green sailor outfit?"_  I feel so casual, talking to Kagome again.  It's as if nothing happened.  But something's different, I can tell._

She giggled softly.  "For the millionth time, InuYasha, that was my school uniform."

"Okay, so why are you wearing _that_ outfit?"

"Look onto the sunset, InuYasha.  Isn't it beautiful?  I don't think… I'll ever see one so beautiful… ever again."

I turned around.  _It's just a sunset, but I guess it is pretty nice.  "Hey, Kagome," I called over my back, "just answer my question; what's with the red and white get-up?  You look like Kaede… or Kikyou."___

"Kikyou…?" she repeated to herself.  "Oh, I remember her… InuYasha?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you…"

"Do I what?"

"Do you still, still love her?"

"Love who?"

"InuYasha…"

"'InuYasha'?  Do I still love _myself?!  Are you feelin' okay, Kagome?"  I turned around to face her, but when I turned around, I stopped.  "You're… you're glowing, Kagome.  Why are you glowing?  What's wrong with you?!"_


	6. page 6

"…I just wanted to say something that I never had a chance to say when I was alive.  I'm not that foolish, InuYasha."

"When you _were_ alive…?  K-Kagome?"

"It's time I let it all out since I didn't get to finish before."

"What're you sayin', Kagome?  'Let it all out'?  I don't care what you say; I'm bringin' you to Kaede's so she can help you and your 'glowing problem'…"

I inhaled sharply.  _"Let it all out"? Could she mean…?_

_"Why?  The battle's… over…"_

_"So? Doesn't mean you have to let it all out right after!"_

"Kagome… no…"

The young miko walked over to me.  I flinched as she gently brushed my wounded hands.  

"Don't," I urged softly, "you'll be stained."

She ignored me, paying no attention, naturally; what a wench.  Taking my rough claws into her own gentle hands, she sat beside.  "How are your wounds healing?"

"… Excuse me?"

"Don't be afraid, InuYasha, let me tend to your wounds."

"Puh, I'm not afraid…!"  _That's just like at the battle; I wouldn't let her to see my cuts.  Doesn't she remember that my body's special?  I can heal by myself._

"I regret the solemn life I chose," Kagome took the parcel which I held close and emptied its contents, "never choosing to express my true feelings towards you…"  

Reaching into my scarlet haoira, Kagome took out a gleaming necklace with a large chunk of the Shikon no Tama that had once been in Naraku's possession.  The fuchsia aura glowed brightly.  

She looked up at the sky, where a lone moon replaced that of the brilliant sun. Sighing heavily, Kagome took my hands and grasped them tightly.

"K-Kagome, what's goin' on?  Don't leave me!  Kagome, please!  I-I can't live without you."  I turned my head.  _My tears… they're coming back again.  Damn these stupid ningen feelings!_

"Go ahead, InuYasha, cry.  It's alright to cry.  Don't be foolish like I was; show me what you feel… while you still have the chance."

"Who's cryin'?!  I'm not cryin'!  Nobody's cryin'!"

"Don't be so stubborn…"

"Crying is weak!"

"Heh, then, am I weak?"  Silent tears streaked across her face.

I stared perplexedly at her.  The tears paraded, falling like rain.  "Please, don't cry.  You know I hate it when you do," I said, trying to offer what comfort I could.

"I will see you again, and until that day, I'll wait.  I'll wait as long as it takes."

_"… show me what you feel… while you have the chance," _I repeated her words silently in my head.  "K-Kagome, no, wait; I have to tell you something!"

"Goodbye, InuYasha…" Kagome began to dissolve into the mist.

"No, no, wait.  Kagome, KAGOME WAIT!"

"Say hi to everyone for me, okay?  Take care of the Shikon no Tama, please..."

"I LOVE YOU!  I LOVE YOU, KAGOME!"

Too late, she was gone.

closing your eyes to disappear

you pray your dreams will leave you here

but still you wake and know the truth

no one's there


	7. page 7

"Kagome…" I wailed silently.  My soul screamed in agony, tearing me apart.  It was unlike any demon's blow which could but only pierce one's skin; this pain was beyond measure.

Once again, I found myself standing against the Goshinboku, one hand clenched and the other stuck fast within the god tree, yet not so deep as to not being able to easily pull them out.

I gasped for air, inhaling deeply.

_Did I really see her?_

I slumped to the bottom of the tree where its roots lay under me.  "Hmm?  My …?"  _My hands…  The stinging had been relieved as well as the wound, leaving a faint scar.  Faint yet there none the less.  More importantly was what my hands held within them: _the Shikon no Tama…_?_

_Okay, let's say she was here…  Did she hear me?_

"I don't know…" I shrugged.  _And I don't think I really wanted her to hear it; not then.  I thought to myself, remembering all the good times I had with Kagome, how we first met, and how after that we met the others, and how this whole crazy quest to find the Shikon no Tama started…_

_Shikon no Tama?  Shikon no Tama, that's right!  I am holding that blasted jewel in my very hands… whole once again…  I can use it to bring her back, to bring back Kagome!_  "That's it!"  

I paused.  The voices of the forest spoke, rattling their branches, whispering in the wind.  I paid no attention to their beckons of the magical bead that I now had in my possession.

_No, I could never_, I realized._  Then Kagome would be just like Kikyou, a wandering dead soul trying to live among the living.  Look how much it has hurt Kikyou… I could never do that to Kagome…_

_This shiny ball is so… so…  Damn, I can't even find the words for it!  I want to cradle it for its beauty and power, but then I want to smash it into a hundred shitty pieces for all the trouble it's put me through!  All the trouble it's put Kagome through…_

_This stupid marble, it gave me Kagome, but then it took her away.  This jewel… it's a lot like me._  __

"This… this _pebble_, it took away yet gave.  It is something when in contact with another yet nothing alone_…  I_ took away millions of lives, but I did give some people a second chance at living, some."  _I am something with Kagome, yet nothing without her alive and right next to me_. "There is no more need for this stupid marble…"__Without Kagome…_"in this already chaotic world"_ _… I'm ___ "_just as there is no more need"_ _not whole__ "for __me."_

I held up the completed Shikon no Tama, whole once again.  _Soon I shall be, too._

"Kagome," I whispered as I looked into the intense glow of the jewel, "I don't know if you can hear me or if I'm crazy, but I just wanna let you know… I … I can't keep this.  I honestly don't know what to do with it now.  The Shikon no Tama is not safe with anyone hence it is useless, yet it is too precious to be destroyed."  

Looking around at the minute clearing, I noticed the scarring I had done to the Goshinboku.  Sap did not flow underneath it but was instead replaced by a strange glow.  _How come I never noticed this before?_  _Hmm?  Its aura… it glows the same color as the jewel?_

I sighed.  "Forgive me, Goshinboku, for using you as my scratch post, but please, I would like to ask you to take this Shikon no Tama.  Keep it safe from all, friend or foe."  _Wow, I chuckled; _I'm talking to a tree.  I must really be losin' it_.  Gently, I pushed the Shikon no Tama into the sacred god tree.  "Never again shall the Shikon no Tama be used by another, be it ningen, youkai… or hanyou…"_

Pushing my back against the opening of the Goshinboku, I inhaled deeply, savoring my final breaths.  Giving a small grin, I rested my hand upon the hilt of my katana.  _Looks like I do need Tetsusaiga.  Heh, for once you're right, Kagome._

"…and _I shall seal it!"  _This is for you, Kagome, _I laughed silently to myself.__  "I'm coming."_

In one swift motion, Tetsusaiga was released from its sheath and guided to its new, permanent home.


	8. page 8

say goodnight

don't be afraid

calling me calling me as you fade to black.

…

"_How are your wounds healing_?"


End file.
